


Crazy

by Emzalina



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9301136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emzalina/pseuds/Emzalina
Summary: Souda heard youre not supposed to stick your dick in crazy. Guess hes gonna have to confront Hajime about it then!





	

Souda looked shocked when he saw me and Nagito hand in hand. I didn't get it really, was it such a shocking revelation? After coming out of the program, Nagito and I had spent hours... days talking, making sure we were both okay. The others might've been remnants of despair, but Servant and Kamukura were the ones who committed the worst crimes.

Servant... that was what Nagito and I had decided to call the person he was before the program. That's what he said the kids called him. That's what he said I called him. Or... Kamukura did. It wasn't me, it was Kamukura. It was taking me a while to get that into my head.

Either way, I digress. Things are how things are.

I was just surprised that Souda had been surprised.

Everyone else had just smiled at me if they saw us together. It was like they knew, but were giving us the time to tell them ourselves.

I think Nagito was most thankful for that.

Souda was the only one after a while. We finally told everyone we were a couple after a month. They all just seemed happy that we were telling them for some reason. Sonia the most so. She decided right away that she needed to throw us a 'coming out' party (which everyone told her wasn't a thing, but it happened anyway).

I felt stupid having a party thrown for me for getting a boyfriend, but it made Sonia happy, so who was I to care.

Souda was still grumbling. At the party he sat with the Imposter, who was eating his weight in chicken.

Nagito and I danced together, like a first dance at a wedding. I could tell from the times Nagito giggled that he was embarrassed by it. I felt like the smile he wore showed that he enjoyed it too. His grin was wider than I have ever seen. It was beautiful to me.

Monomi wanted to hold us a wedding too. But we disagreed seeing as we were seventeen and only just started dating. This obviously wasn't the simulation Monomi. Souda had created a smaller robot version of her that said most of her catchphrases and sometimes had her own thoughts. He couldn't make us a robot Chiaki, although she was a sore subject will every single one of us. We remembered her now after all.

I felt her spirit at our first dance.

But after that magic moment things got weird. Souda began avoiding me outright, and when he did see me, he needed to mention how gross he thought it was that me and Nagito were now dating. I expected that from Hiyoko, after all she said things were gross all the time, but usually Souda is more level headed.

It was morning, in the restaurant when it finally all came to a head with Souda.

We weren't even talking about me and Nagito, I just casually said that Nagito wouldn't join us for breakfast because he was resting. It wasn't even meant to be dirty because he was sleeping in his own cabin, not mine and I had slept in my own cabin. We'd stayed up late talking before going to bed, thanking the stars the robotic Monomi didn't enforce curfew.

"Well uh Hajime... soul friend... I wanted to talk to you about that." Souda massaged the back of his head. That's how I knew this was not going to be a normal conversation.

I decided to feign ignorance to what I knew was coming.

"I know Souda, I shouldn't let him stay up late when he's still so weak, but I couldn't help it... he was just sitting there pouting at me and I had-"

"Uhh Hajime, I wasn't talking about that!" Souda looked a little red at the prospect. He must've been a little loud, because Akane and Sonia turned around from their table close to listen.

"I was talking about you two.... doing it!" Souda seemed to spit the words out, like he couldn't say it properly. It really reminded me of what they used to tell kids at school. That would really be a devious prank for Souda... Yep. I'm gonna do it.

"Souda. Say condom."

"What the fuck man! Why would I-" I smirked. Souda looked a little scared. "Im not."

"Why Souda? Can't you even say condom?"

"Hajime!"

"If ya can't say condom ya ain't ready for sex!" Akane chipped in though chewing. She spat some meat onto the floor by accident as she talked, causing Souda to look at her in annoyance.

I laughed.

"Akane is right!" Sonia nodded. "One must first be able to talk about contraception with no regrets before they may engage in sexual intercourse! It is a law in my country, I am glad that your country has it also!"

"That isn't a law!" Souda almost screeched. I was stunned he could screech at Sonia like that without repeating sorry over and over. He must really be freaked out.

"So can you say condom?" I asked again, smiling. Thank god the girls had helped me deflect the questioning I was about to get.

"This isn't about my use of rubbers! It's about you and crazy ass's use of rubbers!"

"Rubbers?" Sonia asked.

"In our country we call them erasers," I teased Souda. The guy looked like he was going to tear the entirety of his pink hair out.

"Condom! Condoms! I'm talking about condoms!" Souda burst out, causing me to chuckle. "And anyway! I wasn't talking about whether you use protection or not! I don't give a flying fuck! I'm trying to ask you a question about your choices!"

I quirked an eyebrow at that.

"My choices?" I asked, causing Souda to nod. He began grinning, looking confident again.

"Yeah man! I gotta ask you!" He nodded looking at the girls "like! Everyone wants to know dude!"

"Okay... what?" I was cautious. What exactly could 'everyone' want to know about me and my choices?

"Well! Uhh! To put it in my wording." Souda sighed trying to get his words in order I assume.

"Dude... you know what they say… ’Don't stick your dick in crazy' so I was wondering-"

"Aha! Is this another Ancient Japanese proverb for me to learn?" Sonia clapped her hands together in happiness. I had to do a double take.

"What other 'proverbs' have you learned?" I asked raising one eyebrow.

"Hanamura-san taught me the proverb 'check yourself before you wreck yourself' I am quite intrigued by these proverbs!"

I tried my hardest to hold my smile back. Akane shook her head.

"I told ya Sonia! They're just shit we say! They ain't no proverbs!" Akane grinned widely and looked at me. "I don't even know what a proverb is!" She laughed and food went everywhere again. Souda looked at her in annoyance.

"Hey! Back to the original point!" Souda tried to deflect. "Point is! Why do you fuck Komaeda?! And don't deny it, we all saw him walk in the other morning with a limp!"

I scratched my cheek, feigning innocence. They were wrong about the limp. What had actually happened was a board had broken on the boardwalk while we were walking to breakfast and Nagito had fallen and caught his leg in the hole.

I'm not saying we didn't have sex the night before, I'm just saying it wasn't me who gave him the limp.

"We all know I didn't cause that limp." I sighed finally. "You were the one who had to repair the boardwalk." Souda reeled back at the memory and hummed.

"You probably did some sex thing on it to make it weak!" It was an almost laughable concept.

"So you wanted to know why I, and I quote the 'proverb'" my voice was dripping with sarcasm at the thought of this being a proverb. "Why I 'put my dick in crazy?' Correct?" Souda nodded vigorously his teeth forming a large shark-like grin.

I shrugged "who said my dick is going in crazy?" I turned to Souda specifically, finishing his last spoon of breakfast before standing up.

"After all, it's more like... crazy is putting his dick in me." 

And boom just like that I walked out, knowing I was leaving a slack jawed Souda in my wake.

After all, the day Nagito had the limp was a lucky day, he'd been a little rough the night before so my pain was more noticeable.

_'Good thing I fell! Now nobody will care if you wince in pain every once in a while! They'll think its sympathy pain for me!'_

I smirked as I walked back towards the others cabin. I was still a little sleepy too after all, I just wanted to curl up with him for a little while.

I walked over to the buffet first, grabbing an apple for Nagito.

I didn't even need to knock on his cabin door, he had given me his spare key a week after we had started having sex. He had decided that if I was going to kill him, I would've done it already. And after a good 40 minutes of me ranting at him about that kind of thinking, I gave him my key too.

Nagito smiled as I walked in, patting the bed with a yawn. He was sitting up in it, not bothering to be dressed for my arrival.

Nagito was reading some kind of novel it seemed. Just a small paperback book he had balanced in one hand, not looking up from the pages as I walked in.

"Leave it open a little, it’s hot in here." I smiled, he was getting more and more trusting of the rest of the group every day. I walked over, sitting on the bed and leaning to kiss Nagito's lips. The other didn't even look up to know to kiss back. It was nice to see the soft smile from it spread across his face. Nagito finally put the book down on his lap, looking me up and down before stroking under my eyes with one finger.

"Aren't you tired Hajime?" He hummed. His voice was a lot softer these days, I actually kinda liked it.

I shook my head. "Nah, I just got back from breakfast too. I got you an apple." Like hell I was going to tell him how tired I was right now. Nagito would give me a lecture, one I probably would've gave him just after he had woken up. I sighed, throwing the apple over for Nagito to catch. He smiled, bringing the apple to his lips and taking a small bite.

"Ah, one of the apples that grew from our seeds?" He smiled. I was astonished Nagito was able to tell that the apple was one we had grown.

After all, the orchard we had set up on the first island hadn't really started to bear fruit yet, only one or two apples a month at most. But the soil was fertile and the vegetables and other fruits we grew were always quick and perfect. Gundam always just told us apples take longer.

I shrugged, taking off my shoes and climbing up over Nagito on the bed. I yawned again, lying down on my front with my head on my crossed arms. I peered over at his book.

"What're you reading?" I asked seeing words like 'death' 'torture' and 'murder' littering the pages. I was sceptical about the topic of the book almost at once.

"It's a spoof book called 'the perks of being a serial killer.' My cousin recommended it." I raised an eyebrow, looking at Nagito. He shrugged taking another bite of his apple as I plucked the book from his lap and began to read.

_'While it does require you to look into your victims eyes, suffocation is one of the better ways to kill someone in vengeance. It is rewarding to see the light leave their eyes. But! First you get to see that moment or recognition. The second that they look and they think f**k! It's him!' A.J Horace, Death row inmate, tells us happily about his favourite ways of killing but is it really-'_

"AH HAH! SEE? TOLD YOU THEY WERE HAVING SEX!" The door burst open, revealing Souda in the doorway, backed up by Sonia, Akane Ibuki and Gundam.

I turned slightly before rolling my eyes and looking back at the book. Honestly, I can understand why Nagito was reading it is it was about the mental state of the criminals not the actual killing.

"Sex?" I heard Nagito echo. I looked at him and he sighed.

"Gee Hajime... I wish you would've told me! I would've put my apple down." I snorted, turning myself around to look at Souda in the doorway. I raised an eyebrow at him. Souda slowly turned a shade of pink in embarrassment, closing the door tightly before him so he could run away from the people who were snickering at him.

I rolled my eyes and leaned my head on Nagito's lap.

"We could have sex now they think we're reading." I mentioned.

Nagito looked at me with a smirk. "Later Hajime."

The prospect of later sent tingles up my spine.


End file.
